Is it too late to start a new venture or career at this stage of my life? When is a good time? Is there a perfect time? When allowing ourselves to imagine something new, our minds tend to tell us the reasons we can't. One of the most common blocks we can run into is age and perceived timing. However, there really is no perfect time to do anything. There is just time.
Beth Luwandi is a psychotherapist, master communicator, host of the Midlife Love Bytes! podcast, and recent TEDx speaker. We discuss the process of creating and delivering a TED Talk, and the message she wants to share with the world.
The theme of TEDxGustavusAdolphusCollege was “Life On Purpose.” As a speaker, she was tasked with condensing the science and experiences of her talk into 12-15 minutes, which was later condensed further to 10 minutes, and memorizing the presentation (and, of course, overcoming her anxiety).
Her talk is called “Stop Talking! How Communication is Actually Ruining Your Relationships… and What To Do About It.” It’s the culmination of years working with couples on love, loss, and relationships. You can watch it here.
You will learn why talking often makes it difficult to establish and maintain a sense of empathy and closeness, and how Beth’s four-step process – Clean, Non-Blaming Communication (CNBC) – can shift your relationship and strengthen your brain. Beth goes into detail on this topic in episode seven of her podcast, too.
You can get in touch with Beth, enjoy her work, and learn more about her practice at BethLuwandi.com.
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Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Why is it so hard to make a decision sometimes? Am I making the "right" decision? How will I know if I am? Making decisions, even seemingly simple ones, can be difficult. The hard part isn't the decision, it's letting go of the need for certainty and answers that's hard. Letting go of judging our situation. Choosing the best option. Having faith that we'll get the answer or results we need. The only thing for certain is that if we don't make a decision and act, nothing will happen at all.
When we attach a label to ourselves we limit ourselves. Commonly overheard in conversation. "Are you an introvert or an extrovert?" or "What do you do?", we are frequently asked. "Well, I'm a this doing that." What happens to our sense of self when we aren't being defined or categorized? More importantly, what types of unnecessary limitations are we putting on ourselves when we label and ourselves and put ourselves into a box?
When it comes down to it, much of what sustains long lasting change is simple routine. Simple, boring, routine. It's what separates us from dedication to the process and from going off to our impulsive directions. It's a grind. But can we love the grind?
Today’s guest, Domenic Nappa, shares the unique path that brought him from blue collar worker to yoga instructor, and how yoga benefits our physical, mental, and emotional health. We also discuss why our society is kinda screwed up, and what you can do to rise above the noise.
Domenic grew up scoffing at yoga, and he had a lot of misconceptions. He worked hard, went to the gym, drank beer, and ate steaks. Yoga looked like feminine stretching and he didn’t see a place for the practice in his lifestyle, but he was wrong.
Experiencing meditative yoga practices, as opposed to more intense physical practices, completely changed Domenic’s perspective. It focused and invigorated him.
“Meditation is so much more than an empty mind – it is a focused mind."
We live in an incredibly noisy world, and shutting out that noise is a huge challenge – but with that challenge comes an opportunity for growth. A lot of people think meditation is just about emptying your mind, but it’s really about focusing your mind on the most important things.
Domenic mixes his life experience and his passion for yoga into The Concrete Yogi, a yoga lifestyle brand that encourages men to improve their lives by incorporating the greater philosophy of yoga (in whatever pratice makes sense to them).
If you’ve never done any yoga and you want to learn more about the practice, head to a local yoga studio (they’re pretty easy to find if you google “Yoga Studio near me”) and ask the owner or instructor if they have any packages for someone who is completely new – and then go to as many studios as you can. Experiment to find the teachers or the styles that resonate with you.
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Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Getting older doesn't have to mean losing what we used to have. If anything, getting older can bring us an invaluable sense of awareness of who we really are. My kids, my marriage, my job, my physical changes, are all things that remind me that I can't compensate like I used to when I was younger. Age has called me out! Embracing the truths, seeing the weaknesses and shortcomings for what they are. Growth points.
Stop waiting to get motivated to make a change. Motivation is fleeting. Act. The more you do something new without needing to be motivated, the more momentum that will build. Momentum trumps motivation. Motivation is as fleeting as a sugar rush. It's temporary. Stop looking for it to save you. Act. Think and feel later.
Kat Love is a website designer and strategist dedicated to helping psychotherapists get more clients (she designed my beautiful website!). We discuss struggling to find your purpose, how she ultimately discovered a calling, and how empathy influences her web design.
“I was struggling to figure out what I really wanted and who I really am for a long time. Some of the figuring out of what you want to do and what you’re passionate about is only going to happen through experience.”
Kat chooses to focus on therapists and helpers because they have been an incredibly positive resource during her journey, and she’s grateful.
Her experience drove her to this calling, but empathy makes her good at it. She is able to empathize for her client’s clients because of her time as a therapy client, and this helps her design sites for people who might be in a crisis, suffering, or just stressed out.
One of the questions she will ask therapists is “what do you want your clients to feel when they’re on your website?”
The end result is a website that helps psychotherapists connect with their ideal clients, and helps people who might be struggling find the right help. You can learn more about her services at KatLove.com.
“It’s not just a business for me – it’s also a mission. I want to help therapists connect with their ideal clients… because I think therapists are awesome and because I know that clients need the help. If I can help that happen, then that’s awesome.”
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Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Today we’re talking to Rachel Desrochers, the Chief Gratitude Officer at Grateful Grahams. She has a powerful story about how gratitude saved her life and inspired her business, and her attitude is absolutely infectious.
“I started Grateful Grahams because gratitude saved my life.”
Rachel started Grateful Grahams in 2010 with a few goals: creating her dream job, spreading the message of gratitude, and working with small batches to ensure a great product each time. She also wanted to create a healthy, vegan treat for her father, who experienced a dramatic lifestyle change after battling prostate cancer.
She’s grown impressively over the past seven years… But she’s not even close to finished with her journey.
Rachel isn't a planner; she's a doer. She makes business decisions that she believes will be personally fulfilling, support her team, and help her customers eat healthily.
A fear of failure doesn't limit her. Instead, excitement about new opportunities and love for her community propels her.
“I wake up every day and I do work that I believe in. I feel like I’m impacting my community… and that fills my cup.”
The gratefulness isn’t a schtick. Rachel is one of the most authentic and transparent people to come on the show. She has a genuine love and appreciation for her family, community, and team.
She calls herself the Chief Gratitude Officer because the title doesn’t create a divide between her and her team. She works with them throughout the process and endeavors to create a workplace that helps people be their best selves.
Rachel doesn’t just want to be an employer – she wants to be a relationship-builder and a world-changer. She’s off to a tremendous start.
Hungry yet? You can order some delicious and healthy Grateful Grahams online. They ship to anywhere in the U.S with a flat shipping fee.
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Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
We’ve been on this journey together for a few weeks now. I am discovering a lot about what drives people, and I love having the opportunity to share those stories with all of you.
Today I want to share my story.
I thought I knew what I wanted to do when I was very young, but I spent a long time searching before I found fulfillment. Before I could find it, I had to take a risk and step into the unknown.
My first private practice was a side gig in a dirt cheap shared office. I didn’t get a phone call for six weeks, but eventually I was working an extra 10 hours a week as my own boss. It was difficult, but I was really happy.
But I still wasn’t fulfilled. I wanted more. I needed to step further into the unknown.
I left my day job and went into private practice full-time, and things started to get really interesting really fast. The romance, excitement, momentum, and motivation that come with making a big change quickly fade when you come face-to-face with the realities of the venture.
In 2015, I had some of the highest highs and lowest lows, and I learned a few lessons in the process:
Life is a learning laboratory – open yourself up, take a risk, and have some fun.
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My podcast episode with Melvin Varghese on Selling the Couch talking about my challenges in beginning my business: http://sellingthecouch.com/session-82-surviving-tough-times-private-practice/
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
How often are we in search of things?
Happiness, meaning, the perfect job, the perfect relationship… we are constantly searching for the things that we think we should have, have a hard time attaining, and have a hard time sustaining.
But trying to get “the thing” is an illusion.
In this episode, I break down a few things that we can think about to help reshape our mindset…
To reveal more about yourself, take a Myers-Briggs test and learn your personality type. This is a free, unofficial version of the test.
Combining the test results with Paul D. Tieger’s book Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type helped me transition from the military to therapy.
This isn’t an answer, but it might give you more guidance, insight, and direction.
If you enjoyed this episode, join me on my Facebook Page. I’ll be sharing videos and discussing more topics like this every week.
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Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Mark Zinno, sports talk radio host and Army veteran, recently launched the Hazard Ground podcast.
America knows a select few war stories, usually because they are featured in movies. Mark wants to tell all the stories that weren’t made into movies; the stories that people don’t know.
Mark is fortunate. He deployed twice and returned twice, mostly unharmed… but his comrades in arms weren’t all as fortunate. The podcast is his way of giving back.
“I want to tell soldiers’ stories. People like hearing other people’s stories, if it’s a good story to tell and the person telling it is a good storyteller.”
In Hazard Ground, Mark acts as a translator between military people and civilians. He allows veterans to tell stories in a way that makes sense to them, and he is able to help the audience understand those stories better.
Mark learned to be a great storyteller as a radio host. He has over a decade of experience in the sports media world, which he is called to because it is the best combination of being an athlete and being an actor (and a good second choice after being shortstop for the Yankees).
If you want to hear Mark tell more stories, check out the Hazard Ground podcast or “A to Z with Mark Zinno” radio show.
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Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
You don’t have to follow a specific path in life. You definitely don’t have to follow a path that makes you unhappy.
Matt Pascarella is working on second career goals, podcasting and mountain guiding. These are his goals for a simple reason: they make him happy.
He believes the world will be a better place if we focus less on what we should and shouldn’t do, and focus more on what makes us and the people in our life happy.
Matt’s new podcast, Hazard Ground, features veterans sharing inspirational and motivational stories about combat, service, and resiliency. He co-hosts the show with Mark Zinno, sports talk radio host and Army veteran.
Matt’s soon-to-be new career, mountain guiding, is appealing because it allows him to share the happiness and goodness of nature with others. He is getting certified through the American Mountain Guides Association, while holding down a full-time job.
Both ventures share a similar challenge: you have to get started. Sometimes you are more of an obstacle than the mountain.
Identify your passions, figure how to monetize it, and try your best to add more positivity into the world. We can all forge a happier path (and make the world a better place while we’re at it).
Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Let your mind work for you – have it be your ally and don’t let it keep you small.
Our thoughts affect how we navigate everything in lives: our jobs, our relationships, our mood, and how we see the world.
When we think in black and white terms, or our thinking is polarized, we limit ourselves.
We need to stop judging ourselves through a black and white lens – we need to start taking control of our lives through action.
It’s going to be hard to get out of a black and white mindset because our brains naturally want to think linearly… but we need to give ourselves a chance to practice. Here are a few small and manageable ways to practice expanding your mindset:
When you are able to let go of your attachment to the past, trust in your own capabilities, and stop judging the perceived result of your actions then you will see serious results and changes in your life.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Today’s guest, Jerry Howard, went on a long journey to find his true calling.
He dropped out of undergraduate classes, worked in a call center, enlisted in the marines after 9/11, went back to business school, obtained a MBA with a specialization in marketing, left the marines, sold health insurance, was a stay-at-home dad, participated in a corporate leadership training program… and that’s not even everything!
Now Jerry serves as the executive director and healthcare administrator for ortho, neuro and cardiac rehab centers.
Jerry’s diverse experiences helped him focus on and reorder his top three priorities:
“Faith, Family and Finances allows me to keep the external world secondary to my family and then my Family secondary to Faith. If you don’t have principles to live by then, when push comes to shove, even within your Family you can be swayed by the moment.”
Prioritizing Faith, Family, and Finance helps Jerry keep love as his main motivator.
Jerry was motivated by love to write a book for stay-at-home dads titled So You're a Stay at Home Dad, Now What?: Fatherhood Isn't What It Used to Be.
In the book, Jerry attempts to help other stay-at-home dads better fill their roles and find their true calling. You can preorder the book on Amazon now.
“If you don’t use your talents and the things that you’re good at to make a contribution to the world, then your time here on Earth is wasted.”
Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Traci Ruble, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, is the co-creator of Sidewalk Talk.
Sidewalk Talk fights stigma around therapy and mental health by bringing listening to the streets.
The idea is simple:
“I’m not in my therapist role when I’m out there listening. I show up as a human and I try to not think about all the different theoretical orientations and I don’t meet people with the idea that there’s something that needs to be fixed in them.“
The movement started in 2014. Traci was bewildered by the level of gun violence and she wanted to know: how can we be active in our community and actually listen to what’s going on, rather than interpreting and predicting it? How can we be part of the community?
The first Sidewalk Talk event took place in San Francisco in 2015 – now there is a Sidewalk Talk going on, somewhere in the world, every week.
An important aspect of the Sidewalk Talk dynamic is that the volunteers are not showing up as therapists – they’re not even showing up as helpers. They only show up in the role of a curious listener.
“I don’t think it’s a different experience than a therapy office. I think I experience it differently because I’m not in a therapy office. The context changes how I receive it.”
The one thing that Traci has to train the non-therapist volunteers to do is regulation, both inside of themselves and the person they’re listening to. Over sympathizing can burn out the volunteer and unbalance the person talking.
Sidewalk Talk is changing the world because it’s a disruptive social technology.
Listening projects can also disrupt the intense political dichotomy in the U.S. The 2016 election shows that many people don’t feel they are being listened to, so Traci’s next step is Sidewalk Talk On The Road 2017.
“Human connection is always the solution. Solutions are not the solution.”
Volunteer to listen in your community at www.sidewalk-talk.org.
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Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Today, we’re exploring The Suffer Lab with Lt. Col. Phil Forbes.
“You’re going to suffer to grow. Things aren’t always comfortable.”
In episode 2, I talked to Phil about leadership. Phil has been affiliated with Special Operations for the majority of his career and has supported numerous contingencies worldwide. He has commanded at the detachment, squadron, and group level in garrison and in combat and has been awarded the Bronze Star on two occasions. He presently works in the Pentagon for a three-star General as an Executive Officer.
We’re used to thinking that stress and suffering are bad, but they’re instructive. Experiencing stressful situations, physically or mentally, teaches you about how your body responds to stress.
You have a choice about how you respond to suffering. If you make a conscious decision to frame the experience in a way that serves you, then you will develop better skills for adapting to greater suffering, in the future.
The Suffer Lab is self-imposed suffering, with defined limits. In the Lab, you know the experience is finite so you can more easily practice making conscious choices.
Phil suggests putting yourself through The Suffer Lab in any area of your life where you find weakness, or a deficit. It’s difficult – you have to be really honest with yourself – but that’s where the real growth is.
“Suffering ceases to be suffering the moment it finds meaning.” –Victor Frankl
If you want to learn more about the benefits of suffering and discover more of Phil’s amazing stories, then you’re in luck! Phil is publishing blogs on Medium and you can follow him here.
Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Mercedes Samudio, LCSW runs a practice and brand called The Parenting Skill.
Over time, Mercedes realized she wanted to coach and empower her parents – she didn’t necessarily want to do therapy with them.
Parents really need to learn how to connect with their child and still be a full human, while making sure that their children are safe, growing and developing. She helps parents learn their own unique skills.
An important tool for Mercedes is empathy. She understands that each person is different and each parent will parent differently. “You don’t have to wait until you’re an expert, because each and every single one of us is technically an expert in understanding our perspective and our philosophies.”
Another important tool that Mercedes has embraced is live video. Live videos allow her to show off her passion and show up as her genuine self. Being genuine helps others do the same, and it brings the clinician and the client to the same human level.
Many of the problems that parents experience can be traced back to the expectations and shame associated with certain roles. Those norms create barriers to our own growth and the shame obscures our genuine self. Mercedes’s coaching can empower someone to overcome shame and limiting beliefs.
Mercedes is working on a book titled Shame-Proof Parenting. It explores how to identify shame in your life, in your family and in your parenting, and what you can do to shame-proof your life.
You can learn more about Mercedes at TheParentingSkill.com or by following her on social media (links in the resources below).
Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Either we’re asleep or we’re awake. Either we’re consciously aware of something or we’re not.
But we don’t become awake from reading books or having conversations. We wake up when we experience things, and we experience things differently based on our mindset.
Mindset Shift #1 – Don’t Get Wrapped Up in the Things You Can’t Control.
Mindset Shift #2 – Loving & Accepting Every Experience
Mindset Shift #3 – Being a Victim Vs. Being Victimized
Mindset Shift #4 – Don’t Waste Energy on Can’t
Mindset Shift #5 – You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers to Start
Mindset Shift #6 – Don’t Be Afraid to Show Up
Mindset Shift #7 – Embrace Stoic Philosophy
I truly believe the world will start to change when we all start recognizing what we have internally as valuable, and when we recognize that the things we put out into the world are valuable.
Act. Do. Try. Don’t be afraid of failing.
Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Ernesto Segismundo, M.S., is a marriage and family therapist who mastered marketing skills to help him grow his private practice. He trains other therapists to do the same by promoting their practice through social media and video marketing at www.FYLMIT.com.
Ernesto emphasizes how our origins and perception affect how we define what is possible and what is a success. When we achieve what we believe to be possible based on our origin, then we run into an upper limit problem.
This upper limit problem can look and feel a lot like burnout, but it’s likely rooted in fear. Reaching your perceived upper limit can lead to losing focus and subconscious self-sabotage.
You’re not failing – you just don’t know how to handle your success… yet.
“You are successful, but you don’t know how to handle that type of success.”
When we re-think burnout, we can stop blaming external factors and start taking personal responsibility. When you take personal responsibility, you can start actually addressing the problem.
Sometimes the upper limit problem is necessary. If we never struggle then we lose motivation.
When Ernesto started addressing his upper limit problem, he started improving his mindset.
What’s beyond your upper limit?
According to Ernesto and Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap, genius is beyond your upper limit. That’s where you can be the most creative, most generous and get over your imposter syndrome.
The upper limit problem is out there – it’s a psychological, emotional and relational toxicity. If you do not address it, then you will never reach the peak of your business, relationship or personal development.
You can address it by reaching out to business coaches, mental health professionals and life coaches that specialize in this area. You don’t have to solve it, you just have to be aware of it.
Resources:
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters